The 9 Wisest Teachings of Yoda (That Were Absolutely Terrible Advice)

Master Yoda: warrior, philosopher, swamp-dwelling goblin. Perhaps the wisest, most respected and most powerful Jedi Knight who ever lived, countless young Jedi have sought his advice over Yoda’s 900 years, despite his inability to grasp basic sentence structure and syntax.

In honour of Star Wars Day, we take a look at some of the wisest things Yoda ever said (that were actually horrendously bad advice):

“Death is a natural part of life. Rejoice for those who transform into the Force. Mourn them do not. Miss them do not. Attachment leads to jealousy. The shadow of greed, that is.”
The tragic and unexpected loss of a loved one is probably the second worst thing that any of us will have to deal with in our entire lives. The only thing worse than that? Some self-righteous bastard telling you to get the hell over it. And then adding insult to injury by telling you it’s “greedy” to miss them after their gone. Continue reading

Star Wars Characters React to the News of George Lucas’ Retirement

Sad news today, Sithizens. The great Maker himself, George Lucas, announced in an interview with the New York Times that he is retiring from blockbuster filmmaking and “moving away from the business, from the company, from all this kind of stuff”. Once he’s finished working on Red Tails and a possible fifth Indiana Jones film (yay?), Lucas will concentrate on making small, arthouse films.

Whilst the news of Mr. Lucas’ retirement will be treated with a myriad of reactions from tears to naked dancing around burning effigies, the PR team decided to ask the people whose opinions matter the most: George Lucas’ creations, the characters of Star Wars.

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