The PR Team is participating in today’s first annual Star Wars Twitter podrace. Follow all the action on the #Podrace hashtag.
Well, we weren’t allowed to leave the office, so we sent some Stormtroopers to participate on our behalf instead. Here are the details:
The PR Team’s experimental two-person Podracer is piloted by the finest podracers the Empire could muster/find on really short notice and force to compete in an incredibly dangerous race: Stormtroopers.
TK-H177 - the cocky lead pilot. H177 is exactly what you’d expect from a fly boy. Brimming with confidence and unburdened by brains. Sure, he’s never driven a podracer, or even bothered to check out the track beforehand, but that’s not going to stop him from winning.
TK-M155 - the concerned gunner/navigator/secondary pilot. M155 doesn’t want to be here. Hell, it’s so hard to see out of his helmet, he’s not even sure where “here” is. It’s his job to fend off rival podracers and get the win, not because he cares about the race, but because he absolutely cares about not being Force choked for losing it.
Yes, having two pilots is supposed to be illegal, but who’s going to tell the Emperor that?
The Empoderor looks like a miniaturised Death Star, except there’s a clear cockpit in each hemisphere. TK-H177 is, of course, on top, with poor TK-M155 forced to fly upside down. It actually rotates in the middle along the equatorial trench, giving both pilots the ability to see in a 360 degree arc.
Heavily armoured and equipped with a miniaturised hyperdrive field generator, drive thrusters, tractor beams, sensor arrays and a coffee machine, this podracer is one serious piece of technology.
Of course, the Empoderor would be nothing without a devastating arsenal of turbolasers that can fire in all directions, topped off by the most fearsome weapon to ever be installed in a podracer: the mini superlaser. Rest assured that your podracers can’t withstand firepower of that magnitude.
It goes without saying that it has absolutely no weaknesses whatsoever. At all.